How long it has been? A Decade

It's been 16 years and counting. The enthusiasm to perform and getting into something adventurous still excites that inner conscience. 
Irrelevant yet true, rejection still rubs my ego. Yes, it does. 
But what happened in the last decade and a half is, I see the bigger picture when I stumble upon something I did not hope for. 
There are not enough words to describe that bigger picture coz if you do,you are a liberated saint. I am still a worldly puppet who is happy on material gains. I don't think I will be aware enough not to have longing. 
Still, not caring or letting it go helps us in a different way. It reduces the pressure to confront a must-win situation. Since, always winning is not on your agenda anymore. 
It does not mean we should not strive towards our objective. I still have desired goals that I wish to achieve. 
However, one thing for sure, I do not resent on things that was not achieved. Rather, these days, I analyse. What was the wrong move? What could had been different? What are the things to consider next time? 
It allows you to focus on future and not dwell in the past. 
Having said that, I must confess, it's not easy. Not getting what you desire is never easy.
It hurts. 
But I know, it will not last long. Look back and you will realize. How many times you thought, this is a tipping point. Yet, you are here. And you will keep on moving forward.
So, no to ego-bitching and yes to that unknown future.
Liberated? Not quite there yet.