AWAY FROM HER

How trifle a matter can be? I could not reach her before going to bed. This was the thing which did not let me sleep, whole night. I was awake despite my best efforts. We talked whole day, went to a restaurant, walked down the streets,and chatted during the evening. She promised to be with me tomorrow. I was very happy and was trying to say good night. I called her but she did not pick up the phone. I tried many times but there was no response. I felt strange, why was she not responding my call?
The night was dark, and lonely. I was missing her even more. Standing in front of the window I tried to stare at the sky hoping for a solution. Stars were shining timidly and moon was behind the clouds. No one was walking on the street and dogs were barking to the invisible enemy. Irresistible coldness outside the window was luring me though I was awake in the night of February. Dogs started to bark again. It seemed they were the only creatures to understand my turmoil. What was I feeling back then? Was that jealousy?
I searched a cigarette. I thought that would heal me. Lighter was not in the room. I went to the kitchen and lighted a cigarette. Smoke, which I enjoyed thoroughly until then, could not comfort me. I puffed smoke-clouds in the air. It suffocated me, more. Wondering what would happen to me if I continued behaving like that, I could not enjoy the cigarette. That was the limit. Clock was moving as usual and the needle was pointing towards the three in the morning. There was no sleep in my eyes. I stared inside my room. Everything was perfectly placed. I wished to mess everything that was in order. I did not wanted things to be fine. They did not have right to be perfect while I was being suffocated. Why everything and everyone was right except me? Outside the window I saw a few buses and cycles; must be early birds to catch their time at the city. City outside the window was waking up, slowly.
I intended to go for a walk since there was enough light to go outside. I met regular walkers. All of them looked fresh and happy. Some were with their wives, some with their pets, young ones were in karate kit, and some of them were housewives. I felt everything the same, except my mind. The city was same and the people as well.
Mobile in the pocket rang. I looked at the phone, and she was calling.
“Good Morning” She said. “How was last night? Did you sleep well?”
I did not know what to say, whether to tell her the truth or not.
“Fine” I lied. “How was yours?”I asked her. She was happy.

I think, it was jealousy what I felt the whole night. Away from her and I am worthless. 
It seems platonic and foolish. But that’s the way it is and that’s the way I am.